what role are you playing?

Life is DRAMA – What Role Do You Play?

We all play various roles in life. Often these are handed to us naturally, for example, our position in the family (parent, child, sibling etc). Other times we make a choice, like our career (nurse, lawyer, tradesman). It is also very common that we let other people tell us which roles we should play in life. This is rarely meant to be bossy, it usually comes from a place of genuine concern where they believe that they know what is best for us. However, maybe without realizing it (I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt here!) the role they […]

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write a book

LIFE IS A BOOK

I have recently written a memoir about a particular period of my life.   Through this exercise I realized that Life is a Book, each chapter representing a peep-hole to a part of my time on earth. Each paragraph filled with exclamation marks and question marks, describing my highs and lows. Every sentence making a statement and each word screaming to be heard. Everyone has a book inside them It is said that everyone has a book inside them and I believe it is true. We are all different, we walk separate paths through life and experience the same situation in […]

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3 steps forward

3 x 3 x 3

Take 3 minutes, 3 times a day, to do 3 things that make a difference? I was introduced to this idea a number of years ago. It immediately appealed to me. I could see that it required only a short period of time, it would help me create a routine and it would make a difference in everyday life, for both myself and those around me. I implemented this routine immediately and the results were instant. I felt a sense of peace as soon as I pressed the pause button in my mind; three minutes seemed like a long time […]

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happy people

Happy People

An epidemic of depression is blighting the lives of people more than ever before. Lonely pensioners, struggling middle-managers and clinically depressed teenagers are no longer a rarity. As a nation, we have never had it so good in terms of money in our pockets, university education opportunities, helpful gadgets and entertainment devices. Yet, we are dissatisfied. Constant advertising from banks and retailers encourage us to increase our spending power, promoting the idea that a wider range of choice will lead to feeling happy and prosperous. Prosperity is important to all of us, however, it has been proven that once we […]

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rewire your brain

The NEGATIVE Brain

“With nothing to do, the mind is unable to prevent negative thoughts from elbowing their way to center stage – worries about one’s love life, health, investments, family and job are always hovering at the periphery of attention, waiting until there is nothing pressing that demands concentration. As soon as the mind is relaxed, the potential problems that were waiting in the wings take over.” (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi 1990) Worrying is the brain’s default position Evolution has ensured that we are quick to attend to potential threats around us by providing us with an attention system, which orientates to the negative […]

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affirmations

Tools for Change

When you want to change a personal situation or negative attitude or bad habit, making the decision to do so, is the first important step. However, just making the decision won’t bring about the change. Further action is required, starting in our sub-conscious mind and then eventually reality. From the decision, create a mental picture of what you want, this is your goal. This goal becomes an affirmation when you write it down and use it to programme your subconscious. An affirmation is a statement of fact or belief written in the positive, present tense as though the goal was […]

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negative feelings controlled

Remote CONTROL 

Everything we do is based around FEELINGS!  We watch a romantic movie because it makes us feel good.  We buy a new dress because it makes us feel good.  We hang out with friends because it makes us feel good. So what do we do when events cause negative feelings within us? We tell ourselves to stop being so stupid.  We say it doesn’t matter, when it really does.  We try to ignore the negativity hoping it will go away.  We decide to fight it yet, we don’t know how.  We get angry and spiral out of control, then are […]

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coaching

The Partisan Advantage.

What do Olympians, Super Models and Entrepreneurs all have in common? A Coach!  Why? Because a Coach is: Someone who puts you first. Someone who listens to your dreams. Someone who helps you achieve those dreams. Someone who is determined to see you succeed. Someone who is cheering you on from the sidelines. Someone who knows how to dig deeper to get the best out of you. Someone who sees potential in you that you may not see in yourself. I believe everyone deserves a Coach. We all have an athlete, showman or tycoon inside us. We just need a Coach to help […]

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are you on the right track?

Move over SMART GOALS – TRAMS are coming through

Writing out my ‘smart’ goals for this month was such a chore.  Feeling fed up with the same old mechanical rote of ‘specific, measured, achievable, realistic and timed’ my creative mind started to play a game and turned ‘smart’ in to T.R.A.M.S. T.R.A.M.S goals mean more to me because they focus me ‘towards’ the positive and away from the negative.  I can already visualize my ‘rewards’.   I laugh when I act as if.  Keeping my goals meaningful and memorable allows me to engage my heart, not just my head.  Being aware of stability is important to me and as long […]

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choice

YOU ARE IN CHARGE! – SO TAKE CHARGE…life is all about choice….. 

My teenage daughter was complaining about a list of things that went wrong for her last week and how other people ‘made’ her feel upset, or angry or frustrated. She was genuinely stunned when I told her that no one could ‘make’ her feel a certain way.   I explained that she chose her reaction to every single situation, whether that was an emotional response or physical action or negative self-talk.  We went on to discuss the importance of her being in charge of her life and the relevant consequences.  I could see her posture change to one of confidence as […]

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