Have you seen the movie Ground Hog Day? Why do you think it was so popular? One reason is because everyone could relate to it: the routine, the patterns, the habits. We all have repetitive behaviours in our lives, some more positive than others. An important question to ask yourself is: IS THIS AN EMPOWERING PATTERN?
Are you experiencing any of these repetitive patterns?
▪ Dominated by fear.
▪ Irritated all the time.
▪ Judgmental of others.
▪ Ongoing financial worries.
▪ Start and never finish tasks.
▪ Weight loss, weight regain, repeat.
▪ Attracting the wrong type of partner.
▪ Always being too busy or having no time.
▪ Recurring conflicts around the same topics.
▪ Constant struggles with relationships at home and/or work.
▪ Addiction : food, alcohol, shopping, sex, cigarettes, computer.
While all the patterns listed above vary in severity and nature, they all have one thing in common: a tendency to recur in one’s life be it daily, monthly or annually.
Uncovering life habits/patterns
What’s interesting is that most of us know our own bad habits but few of us question why we own them. For example, one client of mine was a yoyo dieter and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t keep the excess weight off. Delving deep to the core of the issue we eventually uncovered the fact that she came from a large, poor family and when she was young food was scarce. From the age of four she learned to hoard and hide food. Forty years later she was still doing the same thing even though she had an abundance of everything she could ever need. When she realized that she was still living that old habit she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!
Another example I recall is a successful businessman who constantly complained and worried about his lack of money. I found this hard to believe because he had a high-ranking job and was paid very well. Through discussion I discovered that he supported many charities and was very generous towards friends and family. We highlighted the underlying issue, which was approval. He wanted to be liked and thought of as kind and generous. He used money to impress people and when he had no money he believed that he had no value and therefore no self-worth. Eventually he was able to love himself and now has far more to give than just dollars and cents.
Which bad habit do you need to replace with a powerful pattern?