I watched two women interviewed on sunrise recently. Their English accents caught my attention and I wondered why they were on Australian TV. It is a fate of our society that bad news sells, shocking news grabs our attention and this was no different. It wasn’t immediately obvious that one woman was older than the other, when they were introduced as mother and daughter their story became even more unbelievable. So what was the message that they had to share with the world? That they spent £100,000 on plastic surgery to look like Katy Price, (a British topless model, previously known as Jordan).
When the interviewer asked how they had managed to raise that amount of money, the mother smiled and said her daughter earned it working at a strip club. I heard my ‘inner critic’ come to the fore. Judgment was on my lips. As quick as those thoughts came into my head, a tinge of sadness swept over me. The realization that these women compared themselves to someone else, and decided that they didn’t measure up, left me feeling hollow.
Different doesn’t mean Wrong, It just means Different
What struck me as interesting is the fact that they were not sad, they appeared to be very happy. Satisfied with their new looks and the attention they were attracting from the media. I couldn’t think of anything worse, and therein lies the lesson for us all. Everyone sees the world through a different lens. We bring to every situation our own values, beliefs, habits and desires. The important thing to remember is that different doesn’t mean ‘wrong’ it just means different.
When Freedom and Choice become Negative
We are very lucky to live in a world of freedom and choice. Yet sometimes we abuse that freedom, and are overwhelmed by choice. Both freedom and choice become negatives. We say “I should do this, I should do that, he should or shouldn’t do this or that”. The pressure from the word ‘should’ leads to failure and disappointment if the task is not completed and this in itself is disempowering.
When you find yourself saying I should….. Stop! And ask “why?”
“What would happen if I did? What would happen if I didn’t?”
Even better, replace the word ‘should’ with the word ‘could’.
See how much better that feels? I could do…… gives a sense of choice and freedom, both of which are empowering. M
Many may ask the mother and daughter, you may ask “why did the mother and daughter do what they did?” And the answer is: “because they could!”