It’s the welcome that’s most important,” my mum used to say whenever we had people visiting our house. Then she would run around like a mad woman cleaning, clearing, screaming at us kids to help! Everyone would receive a warm welcome except us!
As we approach Christmas and plan to host events, allow me to share a few tips on how to deal with all the chores and tasks involved in a positive manner.
We are driven by our feelings. Those feelings come from an initial thought. Those feelings also direct our behaviour. If we can manage that initial thought, then we can dictate the outcome of our feelings and thus our behaviour.
Can you remember a time when your husband has come home late and the dinner is burnt? How did you react? What did you think?
He’s so thoughtless and doesn’t care about me? Or. He must be working on another big project. Often we allow small annoyances to give us permission to shout and be angry. Instead of saying “the next time you’re going to be late can you give me a quick call and let me know?”
And of course we would expect the same level of respect in return.
Have you ever asked one of your kids to take the laundry downstairs, or tidy their room and hours later discovered that the job wasn’t done? How did you react? What did you think?
Kids are so lazy and disrespectful, I might as well just do it myself. Or did you sit down with your child and explain the importance of everyone pulling their weight and contributing to the running of the house and then gently insist that they complete the task immediately?
Research shows that when we shift our thinking from ‘chore’ to ‘hobby’ around everything we do it enables us to feel empowered, in control and calm. For example, if we view vacuuming the carpets as a form of exercise, and have our favourite music playing in the background it can result in an uplifting experience. The body and mind are energised and we are left with a feeling of contentment and fulfilment when we view our clean surroundings. This type of repetitive action, can increase mindfulness and focus and help us escape negative moods which come from negative thoughts. This redirection of thoughts along with the physical action is a subconscious and very effective form of therapy.
During the festive season, people sometimes use alcohol as an excuse to be aggressive and bossy. Money worries can be a real trigger (remember worry comes from a thought). The answer to controlling all of this is to be honest with yourself and others. In every situation ask yourself:
“Why am I doing this?”
“Am I thinking and behaving like a victim or victor?”
“What thoughts are contributing to this feeling / behaviour?”
“What ripple effect is my negative behaviour having on those around me?”
For more tips on how to keep calm this Christmas, join me and the Sydney Women’s Self Empowerment Group on Friday 10th November. For more details see below.
I wish you all a very happy Christmas time. If things get too stressful, take a deep breath and give me a call. I’m here to help.
“Clothe yourself with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle spirit.”(1Pet3)
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?(Matt 6:27-29)