Who Are You Really?

Have you ever thought about who you really are?

I don’t mean the roles you play in life: mother, friend, daughter, employee. Nor your social identities: clever, rich, pretty. None of these represent who you really are on the inside.

To know yourself, is to understand your personal values, motivations, beliefs, purpose and vision. Not what you have been told by others, but what you have discovered for yourself.

Knowing your inner self requires introspection and self-awareness. I don’t mean naval-gazing; I am talking about a process of self-discovery, a life-long journey that is intriguing, interesting and inspiring.

During our school days most of us were told to sit down and shut up. We were then praised for being ‘a good girl’. Our role as a student was to follow instructions, not to question and we were rarely asked to think about what we really wanted. This led to many women sleep-walking their way through life – living to please others.

As a result, we often attach ourselves to our identities, titles or external badges because that’s all we really know. But take those away and we feel lost because we have little awareness of who we truly are. Learning to know yourself, love yourself and trust yourself is one of the most exciting courses of education you can embark upon. If you haven’t done this in the past, I encourage you to do so now.

Earlier this year when my youngest child started university, I decided I should continue my own education. I signed up to learn how to write, create and promote an ebook online. It has been a slow and at times a painful journey of frustration, knock-backs and doubt. But there were also incredible breakthroughs.

Some will say I have a lot to show for my effort; a written ebook, an online automation process and an income. As a result, society may label me: author, marketer, business woman and that’s all very nice but it’s a shallow reward in comparison to what I learned about the real me during this process.

  • I am an emotional person; I cry with frustration and I cry with laughter
  • I am capable even though I often think I’m not
  • I struggle to make decisions and that’s ok as long as I get there in the end
  • When I’m happy, others around me are happy
  • I will succeed as long as I don’t give up
  • Success is an internal feeling not an external label given by others

Here are some things I did to reach these conclusions and you might want to follow:

  • Be willing to learn and grow
  • Acknowledge your blind spots
  • Put yourself in unknown situations to grow and learn
  • Question your thoughts, words and actions daily
  • Look beyond what you’ve been told, and discover life lessons for yourself
  • Pay attention to your gut feeling

By following these simple steps, you will trigger the searching process that leads to uncovering the real you. You will become more aware of your own thoughts and resulting actions. You will see your inner self, separate from your social identities. You will begin to gain clarity around the person you were born to be.

You may discover some conflict between who you are and who you are expected to be. This can be painful but can also be a positive step towards living in alignment with your true self. Sometimes in the workplace or home we compromise our values for approval or to keep the peace. In the long run this lack of congruency may leave you feeling lost. And you will know it’s time for you to pursue your passion and create a life plan that is in alignment with your beliefs and vision.

Every action you take every day should move you closer to discovering your true self. You will recognise when this happens because you will feel a sense of inner peace. You will feel happy in the present and excited about the future. You will live in a place where your external identity matches your internal identity. If you would like some help with this, you can do one or all of the following:

Complete the exercises in my new ebook “Take Back Control of Your Life Now!” It will cost you less than a glass of wine (and be better for you).

Take advantage of my 6 Modules Online Course “Reignite Your Spark!” Currently on sale, hugely discounted at 80% off the normal price.

Book a 1:1 coaching session with me, to help you get your life back on the right track – (I will be overseas for the next 3 weeks and look forward to seeing you on my return.)

Join my CLAN, a private facebook group for women seeking change. (Community of Ladies Achieving Now.)

Anne x

PS : If you know of someone who could benefit from this message please pass it on…

Posted in Coaching.

Anne Mckeown